Sunday, March 9, 2014

The night is darkest before the dawn

As I looked at all of the posts I have made to this blog, I realized that I really dropped the ball this time. It has been so long since I've written a blog post. I know I say that pretty much with every post I make, but it feels different this time. I was reminded about how important it is to focus on the one today. I know that I'm blessed every time I sit down and put one of these posts together, so even if I'm the only person who reads this blog, I'm going to write because its such a healthy, spiritual activity for me.

I've been thinking about trials lately; the hard times people go through. I've watched people bear the crushing, unrelenting weight of school, watched people pick up the pieces of their lives after losing someone, and I've watched the day-to-day experiences of life burden and weigh people down.

Sometimes people go through some pretty horrific things, but sometimes people come out on top of those struggles as well.

For a moment I'd like to talk about one of the people I look up to immensely; my Grandma Diane. Everyone who would be reading this knows that we lost grandpa a few months ago. Grandpa was such an integral part of our lives, and the impact of my losing him felt like a crater in my emotions and my soul; the impact was tangible. If grandpa going to the other side impacted me, his grandson, that profoundly, I can only begin to imagine what it would be like for anyone to be separated from their companion, even if the separation is only temporary.

As I look back, this is the lens that I've found myself seeing grandma through. I been aware of how grandma has been going through a trial I don't even have the capacity to comprehend.

The more time has gone on, the more and more respect I've gained for my dear grandmother. I've marvelled at how well grandma has transitioned to life without grandpa. I marvell at how strong she is, how much of a leader she is, how sweet and kind she is, and how I feel the Spirit around her, and I feel inspired while I'm around her.

As sorry as I am to admit this, it took a heart-wrenching trial for me to experience my grandmother's innate potential and increidble goodness. From my perspective, it seems as if grandma's potential has bloomed like a flower, and grandma is taking her place at the front lines of God's mighty army, where she belongs.

I may be wrong, but I suspect that since grandpa has gone, grandma may have come to realize some of these things clearly for herself. I also suspect that if she's reading this, she's thinking of all the tough nights, the times where she wasn't as strong as she wanted to be, etc ... but all I've been able to focus on is the greatness that I've seen. The greatness that I've seen as I've realized grandma is human just like the rest of us.

So this brings me to the lesson that I've learned. We've been taught from the ground up in church that trials bring blessings. It's one thing to be taught it, and it's quite another to watch miracles occur in me and others around me. One of the most intimidating things that has gone on in my life the last little while is realizing that it's time for me to step up, follow suit, and take my place in the front ranks of God's army as well. No more riding on the tail coats of amazing men and women like grandpa, grandma, and my dad. Time to step up on my own. More often than not, I don't feel ready, but every time, I look back and realize The Lord has blessed me immensely and helped me make it through the most important matters.

This blog is going to keep coming this time. I've said that before too, but before too long my desires will become a reality. Until next time! Love you! 

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